pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
