I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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