yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
