Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize