It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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