I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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