that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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