Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
