Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
