Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
