It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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