I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
