my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
