so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
