too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
