Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
