Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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