Can Purell be used as lube?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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