I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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