god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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