dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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