you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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