Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
