yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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