its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
