hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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