If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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