This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
