They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We smell like vodka and hangover
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