I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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