I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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