I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
