Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
