OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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