Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
