I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
