Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
