capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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