dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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