i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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