I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
