So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
