its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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