we're blogging at a bar
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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