Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
