I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
