a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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