how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
