After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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