the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
