It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
