saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
