A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize