i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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